Children, children, here’s what’s up,
I have a tiny tale to tell you young pups.
It’s a little list of things for you to try,
Before summer “1-5” passes you by.
Before you get excited, take a look see,
It’s not about you, but all about me.
But I made it rhyme so you’d get the gist.
Here’s yo mama’s summer bucket list.
First thing’s first, I’d like to get some sleep,
From dusk till dawn without a single peep.
In case you’re wondering, that’s eight hours straight,
And then I want to sleep in late.
With my eye mask on and my ear plugs jammed,
I’ll drown out the noise from my rambunctious clan.
What’s that I hear? Is someone in a flap?
Not my problem—mama’s taking a nap.
Mama wants to drink her coffee steaming hot,
Instead of as a chilly afterthought.
Cause caffeine is mama’s only saving grace,
When it comes to keeping time in this crazy rat race.
So let me sip and let me sigh,
I wanna reach the mountain top of my caffeine high.
Before you start to nag and bug,
Let me make sweet love to my coffee mug.
I want to dine with wine, not whine,
To entertain my gluttony would be sublime.
I want to eat my crumpets and sip my tea.
Since when is indulgence a felony?
To chat about things like politics and art,
Instead of things like gassy burps and farts.
A meal where no one swipes food on the floor,
Then promptly yells, “ME WANT MORE!”
And when the Queen is on the thrown,
Please, pretty please, just leave me alone.
Don’t come knocking at the bathroom door,
Or sit watching in the middle of the floor.
Don’t bring me blocks, or books, or food.
Don’t point and stare—that’s just plain rude.
When yo mama goes one or two,
I’d really like to go in solitude.
That’s it that’s it, that’s all she wrote,
If you’d like to help me float my summer time boat,
Then get a piece a paper so there’s nothing you miss
When you check off Yo Mama’s Summer Bucket List