The Twelve Days of Christmas (Newborn Edition)

The Twelve Days of Christmas (Newborn Edition)

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On the first day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
A great big diaper full of pee.

On the second day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the third day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the fourth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the fifth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the sixth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the seventh day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the eighth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Eight gassy smiles,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the ninth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Nine dirty sleepers,
Eight gassy smiles,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the tenth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Ten cluster feeds,
Nine dirty sleepers,
Eight gassy smiles,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Eleven loads of laundry,
Ten cluster feeds,
Nine dirty sleepers,
Eight gassy smiles,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
And a great big diaper full of pee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my newborn gave to me,
Twelve poop explosions,
Eleven loads of laundry,
Ten cluster feeds,
Nine dirty sleepers,
Eight gassy smiles,
Seven naps upon me,
Six power pukes,
FIVE MISSING SOOTHERS,
Four witching hours,
Three hours of sleep,
Two cracked nipples,
AND A GREAT BIG DIAPER FULL OF PEE!

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4 thoughts on “The Twelve Days of Christmas (Newborn Edition)

  1. Ahaha…how true. Thanks for showing the true eventful Christmas with an infant. Those laughs and “uh huhs” are great medicine… 🙂

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